Archives of Teletran 1
by Sylenttails
Summary: Deep in Teletran's archives are stories of bots who travel the multiverse. Encountering different aspects of their fellow bots or skimming other realities altogether. Here are archived drabbles crossovers and non-crossovers. Heed the warnings within.


_Welcome to the Archives of Teletran 1. Here you shall find logs of various Transformer realities intersecting with differing realities._

_Please heed the warnings that accompany each history file._

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Lust in Space  
Author: Sylenttails  
Fandom: Star Trek 2009/Transformers G1  
Rating: M for Omega's perviness and language

Disclaimer: I do not own either transformers G1 or Star Trek 2009.

Pairing: Omega supreme/Enterprise

Warnings: Sexual Content.

oOoOoOoOo

All was quite at the beginning of the morning shift aboard the Enterprise. Scotty wasn't making moonshine in the engine room, Bones hadn't yet complained about idiots in his med-bay. His main bridge crew where excited about the returning to Earth for shore leave. Heck most of the crew were excited about that!

Jim sat back in his command chair with a sigh of delight sipping his morning cup of coffee. The morning was peaceful...

Suddenly proximity alarms blared, and a female voice intoned, "Prepare for collision in 5,4, 3, 2..."

The ship jerked and shuddered. Then shuddered again and again in near rhythm.

"What the fuck!" Jim sputtered and gapped as the rear-view appeared on the forward view screens.

The whole bridge crew was silent as they took in the image. There right behind the Enterprise was a ship sized robot. The robot's head was encased in a helmet and the rest of it's body was a mixture of reds and oranges and white coloring on the outside. Both hands had grabbed onto the Enterprise each servo holding onto a tail thruster. The bot's hips seemed to be pistoning in a very familure fashion. Another klaxon sounded, warning that the rear shuttle hatch was opening. The sound that came through the speakers could be described as delighted cooing as he came closer to the Enterprise and accelerated his pistoning actions.

Jim gapped in dawning horror, "Is that thing fucking my ship?"

Spock didn't even raise an eyebrow, "yes sir, It appears so."

One hand leaving it's place to seemingly caress the ship, making the shuddering worse. The lights began to flicker as another klaxon sounded.

A female voice intoned, "Engine overload immanent. Beginning electrical bypass."

"Captain you have got ta see this!" Scotty yelled in awe. A smaller screen appeared showing the rear docking bay and the large robotic spike pistoning in the Enterprise's tight confines.

Two minutes later the lights flickered and shutoff as a huge electrical serge ripped through the ship. Outside the big robot groaned in bliss as he overloaded, hosing down the rear docking bay with mechfluid and briefly fell offline. Everyone sat in stunned silence for several minutes before the robot stirred from it's place draped over the Enterprise. The robot gave the Enterprise one last gentle caress before withdrawing from the ship. The rear docking bay hatch slowly started to close as the huge robot transformed into it's ship alt mode and took off for parts unknown.

The bridge was silent. Jim was the first to comeback to himself, "I think I'm jealous! And how dare that bastard fuck my girl then just up and leave like that!"

OoOoO

Omega Supreme returned to Cybertron a happy sated mech. Chassis and interfacing equipment still tingling from the superb overload he had gotten. It was too bad Rodimus Prime had called him; else he would have stayed with that delightful ship for another round or three.

* * *

Designation: Black Bunny Ironhide

Fandom: Transformers/Fruits basket  
Disclaimer: i do not own either transformers movie verse or Fruits Basket  
Rating: FRPG

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Mom! Mom look what I got!" Shouted Annabelle Lennox.

Sarah hastily covered a smirk as she saw her daughter run in with a depressed black bunny in her arms. The bunny in question was grumbling to himself in English as bunny ears drooped over his cute little helmet.

Desperately trying not to laugh, Sarah addressed her and William's daughter, "Sweetie, How many times have your father and I told you not to touch Ironhide?"

"But moooom! He was in root mode and looked like he needed a hug!"

"I know but he needs to be alone sometimes honey. Now let him go."

"Awaaa but mooooom! Uncle Sam carries around Bee in tiger kitten form all the time! Why can't I carry around 'hide!"

"It'd help if I was a tiger too..." grumbled the transformed mech.

Sarah couldn't help it anymore and burst out in cackling laughter.

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WheelJack! Not my Fault! TT_TT

Rating: FRT  
Disclaimer: I do not own either Transformers Movie 'verse (Who Belong to Michael Bay/Hasbro) or My Little Pony (who i don't remember who they belong to)  
Warnings: Change of Species, Mech eyeing up other mechs  
Summery: Someone else's experiments go wrong!  
AN: This is part of a bunch of crack bunnies I`m thinking of expanding on. Or a possible explanation. eheh. Blue-Tyr and I Actually RPed Megs and Optimus` conversation.

oOoOoOoOoOo

With a resounding boom a shockwave of indescribable energy washed over ten Cybertronians and one human. This energy engulfed it's victims, changing them. One for the better, the others... well not so much. About an hour later the energy receded revealing the changed forms of the Transformers and one human.

The first to awake was Megatron. He didn't realize that he had been changed until he tried to stand only to fall on his nose. He felt different from his usual powerful self. He looked down his flank and saw only white fur and on his rear was a picture of his cannon. "WHAT THE FRAG!" the girly scream tore out of his new vocal cords in panic.

By this time the rest of the bots and cons where waking up. Prowl was the first to notice the changes. His new body was the colour of his paint. He had tiny wings on his back that seemed to have replaced his door wings and on the side of his aft was a zooming police car. Prowl's new eyebrows started to twitch. "Wheeljack!"

The named bot was busy studying his hoofed peds and swishing tail. A miniaturized explosion was depicted on the side of his aft. "Wasn't me Prowl! I didn't even bring any explosives this time!"

Scalpel was still small, but his snarled, "Mixmaster!" was impressive.

"Ooops!"

Starscream sniggered as he admired his full length wings as he unsteadily got to his hooves.

"Imma pony!" Jazz exclaimed in shock.

"Prime! Hand over the AllSpark this instant! I need to change back!" Megatron demanded of the groaning red pony.

Optimus sighed, tail flicking against the blue flames depicted on his aft. "Megatron, if we had the fragging thing, I would have already used it to change back!"

Megatron growled as much as he was able, "Shut the frag up Prime!"

Bumblebee stared in horror at his aft as he made out the Camaro with bee wings depicted on his aft flank. Barricade also was starring in horror. He was all black with a white mustang with bee wings on his aft flank. Ironhide's vision moved from the silver cannons on his own aft to look around. He spotted a large slumped form near him and shakily got up to insistently nudge what seemed to be a black doorwing.

The mech groaned in response, slowly booting up and instinctively onlining his optics. Door wings twitching Sam rolled over to look at the black pony that seemed to caress his door wing. After several tries, Sam was able to vocalize his surprise.

"What the!"

All the former Cybertronians stared at the transformed human.

"Sam?"

"Yes Bee?"

"The boy got turned into one of us!", howled Megatron. Most of the bots just starred up at Sam. He was about Prowl's usual height and had doorwings and chevron. He also had little horns on his helm. His armour was deep forest green with black accents. Both of the all black ponies could only think one thing.

'He looks utterly delicious!'

Sam eyed the ponies in slight fear, why was Barricade and Ironhide eyeing him up like that?

* * *

Shadows of the Future

Rating: FRT  
Fandom: Transformers 2009/ Transformers Generation 1 all will be AU  
Warnings: Mech/Mech & Mech/Femme pairs, violence, exploding circuitry, bot language.  
Disclaimer: I do not own transformers or TFG1, these belong to Hasbro, Michal Bay and Dream Works.  
Pairings: Bot!Sam/Prowl/?  
Summary: For the Future to change, sometimes the past must change as well. And in this instance, Primus decides that enough is enough and dropkicks the current future of a cliff for something totally new. He sends his first human Prime back in time to change it all.

AN: This is all Blue-Tyr's fault! Gave me a bunny then decided to feed it with a rare pairing. *pouts* And This is turning into a fic. The first chapter is looong. So a teaser?

oOoOoOoOoOo

Chapter 1: Meet the Spybot

Sparks dashed over ruined data ports and destroyed consoles. Mech bodies lay strewn over the damaged bridge as electrical smoke wafted and gathered near the ceiling. A few of the surviving mechs groaned in pain as neural feeds gave pained signals of damages taken in the surprise attack on the command centre. With most of Autobot command away fighting Decepticon command in Darus neutral hub, few thought that the Decepticons had the numbers to launch a sneak attack anywhere let alone the main command hub of the Autobot forces.

Prowl onlined his optics as pain washed over his chassis. His command chair had toppled during the initial attack. Saving him from the follow up shot shat would have completely incinerated his head. As damages went Prowl would still need to see a medic, as one arm and leg was completely blown off. His vocolizer was also damaged as well as half of his optical sensory array. His weapons were offline and a Deception was still around shooting any who had survived the attack. He could hear the mech's laughter grated on his audio receptors. It also sounded close by.

"Well well lookee here! Another pathetic Autobot laying about like the looser he is." The Decepticon cackled in glee and kicked Prowls chassis causing the Second in Command to groan as sparks of pain lanced through damaged receptors.

Prowl grabbed the offending ped with his last remaining servo and managed to squeeze it until something snapped inside it. The Decepticon howled and shot the Prowls hand off then yanked the pieces off his ped.

"Still have some fight left in you eh Autoscum? Doesn't matter, your still dead!" The Decepticon straddled the downed Tactician, neither aware of a shadow moving in the smoke. "But first I'm gonna have some... Fun with you." The leer the Decepticon gave Prowl told him exactly what the fragger intended to do.

Not that the Mech got that chance. Just as the Decepticon reached for Prowl's chassis a black armoured leg whipped out of the smoky haze and cross kicked the Decepticon right off Prowl and into a damaged console. Prowl was left dazed on the deck as a shadowy blur leapt up and descended on the con's midsection. A glowing blue energy rune sword snicked out of protective covering and buried itself deep into the con's spark chamber, killing the enemy mech.

Silently, the large shadow leapt once again and landed near the downed Tactician. Prowl wasn't sure but he thought his Saviour was about Sideswipe's height. Optics blurred and started to fritz as the mystery mech crouched beside him. Gentle servos quickly assessing his damages then started battlefield first aid.

"Wh...zzzt... w..who..blzt?" Prowl was losing his fight to stay online but he had to know who saved him. The mech didn't seem familiar to his foggy processors.

Concerned blue-green optics greeted his own prussian blue ones. "Shadowfire."

Prowl fell into stasis with that designation bouncing around in his audio receptors.

* * *

Twilight vs Transformers: Fight!

AN: If you like Twilight, DON't Read this. Please heed this warning!

Fandom: Transformers/TwilightDisclaimer: i do not own either Transformers or Twilight. They belong to their respective creators.  
Warnings: Sever crack ahead, proceed with caution. Possible Mech loving in a effect. Non-descriptive violence.  
Rating:FR PG-13

Notes: So ya just an excuse for violence and to test drive Officer!Sam Characterization. *grins*

oOoOoOoOoOo

It was a glorious night. The moon was shinning, the trees where glistening with left over rain water. All in all it was a nice night to hunt deer to slake vampire thrust. Or in this case it was a nice night to give out tickets to wannabe Goths.

Sam did his best not to boggle at the sparkly Goth girl that was trying her best to get out of a speeding ticket. Behind him looming impressively without transforming was his partner in law enforcement Barricade. The ex-Decepticon had gone neutral after Megtron's and then the Fallen's death. He approached Sam to become his cop car shortly after the human had graduated at the police academy with honours. After seven years, the partnership was still going strong.

At any rate the sparkly Goth girl was trying desperately to get away from him (and out of the ticket). She wanted to meet with her vamp. Yes. But decided to give the good looking cop in front of her a friendly warning. Too bad it was already too late.

"Um you might want to get home soon officer."

Sam gave the girl a warning look even as Barricade alerted him to the approaching corpses. "Why would you say that, Miss?"

Suddenly five sparkly vampires burst out of the trees, "Because we might make a meal out of you." One leaned into the human girl's personal space and kissed her.

Sam raised an eyebrow, and snorted utterly unimpressed. 'These guys have nothing on Megatron.'

"Uhuh. 'Cade I think this is your cue." Sam smirked at the Vampires as Barricade transformed with the telling whirrs and clicks of a Cybertronian transformation. He stood in all his Decepticon glory. All four ruby red optics glaring malevolently at the so called vegetarian vamps . Purring in delight at the oncoming carnage, Barricade gave all the small fleshies a toothy denta smile. Quick as a striking snake Sam grabbed the girl and dragged her behind some bushes as the vamps stared in horror at the once innocent looking cop car. Barricade charged up his blaster and shot one into oblivion before the others attacked. Then in moves so fast the fight was on.

Sam kept the girls head down as screams, war cries and maniacal laughter echoed throughout the forest. Five minutes later the fight was done and only Barricade still stood, looking in disgust at the blood on his claws. He shook it off as Sam pulled the girl back onto the road and towards her truck.

"Well that was an... boring exercise. I've detected more of these things several miles off. Shall we go and ... investigate Partner?" Barricade grinned hungrily down at the Humans.

Sam nods smirking, "Yup. Let me finish here first."

The girl finally came out of her stupor, "But you can't! They don't harm humans!"

Sam glared at the girl, "Oh Really? Why don't I believe that? So those five didn't just try and eat me did they?" Sam wrote on his pad and tore off a page and handed it to her, "You have one week to pay that."

In a text book move, Sam turned around as Barricade folded back down into a cruiser, got in and drove off. The girl quickly got into her truck and quickly made her way to the mansion. By the time she got there, the place was already missing and a burnt out crater was in it's place.

End


End file.
